Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Don't say you love me.

Don't say you love me when all you're hoping to do is to manipulate me in to doing something. That grabs at my heart. My head will say "they don't love you". But my heart will say "Yes they do. I'll ask them to prove it"
Then you discover they are so desperate for what they want, they will do things to "prove it", but not something they want to do. So they were so desperate for your help, they said they love me out of desperation.
Don't tell me  you love me. Because I'll want to believe. I'll want love but it breaks my heart that you would sacrifice your humanity.  And I would be so guilty when you think I want you to sacrifice your humanity.
Don't tell me you love me when you don't. I'll foolishly believe.
I'll try to better show you love. So you would know I never want you to sacrifice your humanity.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


I hate those moments which reveal how all alone you are. It is not so bad if you reach out and are told no. You did not get ready to do something. You can just stay home if you like. But when you are told "Okay sure". And then you get dressed, head out but learn at your destination, the other person(s) has other plans and you are not wanted.
So you go someplace alone. You walk in everyone there is with at least one person but you are by yourself.
Then it hits you hard.  I am  so alone.
You reach out to others but when nobody reaches back to you. When others would rather be with someone ANYBODY BUT YOU. You contemplate driving into your garage, shutting the door and sleep the endless sleep while listening to your favorite music.
And the note available to the world is read by noone, cause no one cares. No one will mourn .
But not today. Right NOW I try to grasp at the fantasy of hope. The fantasy of maybe I will one day have a True friend and I will understand how to be a friend.  I sit here in a bar contemplating, but knowing there is nothing Nobel in being and nothing Nobel in not being.
So not today. But maybe one day when I give up on hope

written 2.17,2014


I am lonely and here is somethings I experience and feel.

People are interested in doing an activity together until you show interest and no one wants to participate anymore.
You organize some event but people are not aware you organized it and can't believe you were invited even when it is your party.
When the only time people spend time with you is when you pay for the expense. (Food, drinks, movie or any activity)
A party is taking place. You only know about it because the host asks to borrow some gas money. You bring the money over but not even asked if you would like to join the party.
When you let people hangout at your place, you even allow them to hangout during some times when you are not home. Then they only want to be at your place when you are gone.
They say you're friends, but never do similar activities with you as they do with their other friends. Friends share experiences but you are not allowed to share the experience.

Always feel out of place. Like I don't belong anywhere.
I feel empty. I feel sad.

I am isolated.

I am used.

I am not loved.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


When President Obama first spoke of the red line for Syria, he was hoping to appear tough, but I don't think he was trying to do something courageous. It seems this would have been a no brainier. Any country using chemical weapons against another country or their own people would cause nation after nation to rise up in opposition. And now President Obama who is not crazy enough to do a military action alone without some kind of support of the United Nations, sizable number of countries, or at minimum the United States Congress. (Well actually, it seems he would like more support than just the support of the United States Congress. )
To some extent it seems like he is trying to save face. It is as if he has made a lot of big talk about standing up to the school yard bully. When time to confront the bully, he finds himself to be the only one there, everyone else is on the side of playground watching him, expecting him to do what he had said.
So now he is looking for a way out. With congress less likely to vote for action, he will have a way out, but I hope he does not take the stand of, “Hey I wanted to take action but nobody let me.”

Being a leader does not mean people must follow that just makes you a dictator. But being a leader one must be able to say we are going to go in an indicated direction and convince others to go in the same direction.

Why the lack of support?
War weariness?
The size of an attack would become larger than planned as retaliation has to be dealt with.
Attack on Syria could lead to Syria attacking Israel and now we would have to be with Israel in fighting Syria. This could lead to war with Iran and Russia. Well at least this is what is being suggested as a possible consequences.
Some are concerned that it would not have much effect.
Eliminating Assad may not help since it would not be clear who would take over and who their allies would be.
Some seem to be concerned we are being manipulated into action.

It seems like in countries with dictators, removing them leads to chaos. It's better to have the dictator we know, running a secular government, allowing religious freedom and other freedoms for the people, then have a religious zealous government which will want to attack Israel and restricts much of the freedoms many of the people in that country already experience. This is why the woman talking with John McCain asked we do not do this.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Minimum wage $15/hour

If Fast Food places started to pay workers $15/hr
Prices would go up and quality of the food will go down, It won't be one or the other it would be BOTH.
The number of jobs available will be reduced. This would be done by reducing the number of stores in an area. The store or stores that remain will have more workers to try to handle a higher flow of traffic. They would only keep the best workers. Those who are hired in the future, would need better qualifications than they do now. The high school drop out with no work experience will very likely not get hired. Working at a Taco Bell would only be a dream.
If Minimum wage is increased to $15/hr
This would be raised over a period of years.
A lot more people would be working at minimum wage. A person paid above minimum wage but below $15/hr would slowly find themselves back working at minimum wage. A person making 1.5 times minimum wage, would then make someplace between minimum wage and 1.5 times. Prices will increase.
Changes in Taxes may not occur. If no increase in standard deduction, or a lowering of tax rates occurs, the person who was making minimum wage will pay a higher effective tax rate.
Union wages would go up. In most contracts the union wage is based on minimum wage e.g. 3.2 times minimum wage. As long as prices do not increase too much you will be making more money.

It comes down to this.
 It is not how much money per hour you are making, but how many hours must you work to pay for things.
How many hours will you need to work to pay your Taxes?
How many hours will you need to work to pay for a gallon of milk?
How many hours will you need to work to pay for a pound of hamburger?
How many hours will you need to work to pay for a package of hamburger helper?
How many hours will you need to work to pay for Rent?
How many hours will you need to work to pay for a gallon of gas?
How many hours will you need to work to pay just to see a movie in the theater?
How many hours will you need to work to pay for your electricity?
How many hours will you need to work to pay your cable bill?

IF you work more hours to get these things, then you are getting paid less. The check may look bigger but you are getting paid less.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013


So what does President Obama do against Syria?
First it needs to make the case for action. The administration needs to prove chemical weapons were used and that whatever action taken will stop further use of chemical weapons. Of ALL the past Presidents, President Obama is least likely to use military action against anyone. For them to even be talking this is way could only occur if the evidence is strong against Syria. We would need to be able be certain no one used a chemical attack in order to manipulate the United States into taking action agaist the Syrian government.

Will the action stop further use of any weapons of Mass Destruction? Either the weapon would be used against the Syrian people or it will be used against Israel or against a country (or countries) of who lead the military strike against Syria.

Are we willing and able to handle some of the possible reaction of Russia and China? Part of this means being able to cut spending in order to eliminate a deficit. Since China tends to supply us with funds when have a deficit, being able to economically survive with out China's funds will be the only way to handle economic retaliation performed by China.
If No reply occurs we are simply allowing mass murder to continue. When does the United States take action? Sure the libertarian would say no action ever, but so we have moral obligation to help those who could not defend themselves? Even if those who we help may desire themselves to harm us.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It would be interesting

...if the election goes in one of these ways.
Obama wins the electoral college but loses the popular vote. So Obama's last term is like Bush's first term.

This is not Obama's last election.
Imagine he loses by a close margin. Say Romney gets 50.1% and Obama gets 49.9% or it would be Romney 49.9% to Obama 49.8% with the remaining 0.3% going to third parties.

As a result there would be a call for Obama to run again in 2016