Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Mathew 7: 12 “In everything, therefore, [i]treat people the same way you want [j]them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" I find myself faced with a sense of guilt, because I will do this with wanting others do unto me. Earlier on the day I write this I gave person money for gas. In my head I wanted touch her, kiss her, among other fantasies. I gave her the money but did not touch. I want contact so badly, that part of my motive in giving the money was to have opportunity for contact. In listening to gossip, I had it in my mind that she might be willing. But she deserved to be given unconditional love. She needs to know she can feel love without anyone demanding something from her. Not treating her like with disrespect.
Hebrews 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things
I need to recognize when others do something unto me and try to either pay it forward, or do unto them as they have done onto me. I need to take a hard look at what others do for me. I need to quit being so selfish.
I am lonely.
But I should endure loneliness as I help others. I should find those who are lonely and visit them. It’s why I should do meals on wheels.
I want human contact.
But I should not see my own desires, but deny my desires as I help others.
I need to work harder at making myself a person someone wants to touch and be with.
I should do unto others even if others don’t pay it back. I should not procrastinate in giving back as others gave to me.
God Forgive me.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Living Like I was dying.

One problem with trying to live like your life will end in a short period time, is you are not truly dying. Some things you would do have very little long term negative impact. I just made a will using legal zoom. It is a very basic will, but it has been something I have put off doing. No matter when I die, having a will completed is always a good thing to have. I have one allowing for changes to be made over time.

Some things would have a negative long-term impact or could have a negative long-term impact. Driving around a race track at a very high-rate of speed would be fine if you had only a short time to live. So it would be things which would have a short-term positive but would or could have a long-term negative.

Things I would tend to do. I would work less, If at all. I would not have to worry about money for this period time, so I would not work to spend time doing things I would like to do.

I asked many of the people I work with, what would they do if they only had 40days left. I received many responses. “Rob some banks.” “Quit my job.” “Leave on a final vacation.” “Take revenge/kill on all my enemies” “Get a bunch of credit cards, and max them out, by spending it on strippers and hookers” “Continue to do what I am doing now.” No one answered the question by saying “I would check into the hospital to find out why I have only 40days to live!”

I wonder how honest one could be on this topic? To be COMPLETELY honest I would have SEX! Well I would want to have sex I am not sure someone would want to have sex with me. I don’t think anyone would want to marry me. Now is this being selfish? Most of what a person may do would be in part a benefit to them. The person who ‘loves deeper’ is not drained of his love. The person is filled up with love, joy, and peace. When I wrote my will, I made it simple and gave everything I owned, except my car, to my brother. The car went to someone who could use a car, such a gift is given out of concern for the other person. I would enjoy personally handing them the title to the car. The person who climbs the Rocky Mountains or rides a bull for 2.7 seconds is doing it for the enjoyment received. While I may also want to do this more than once, It would not be the only things I do.

I would spend more time with parents and my brother. I would hope my other brother and his family would come up as well. I would visit as many of my relatives as possible. I would want to reminisce about life. I would also help make funeral plans.

Besides having some sex, I would also ride a horse; take a trip to see some sights. If money is no object, then Museum of natural history in New York, with mom and other relatives to see the work(s) of my Great-uncle F Lee Jaques. Talk to all my cousins. Some cousins I have not talked to in YEARS. Visit some classmates.

Some of the time would be at work. Not for the work itself, but for the enjoyment of being with the people I work with.

I hope I don't offend anyone by my Honesty.

In the time of this experience, I would have my 44th birthday. (Oh my goodness I am getting older!) So I would have a huge birthday party. (I think this would be where some of the sex would take place.)

Enjoy a bottle of pop from Mac’s Hardware. Watch at least the top 10 best movies of all time. Also watch the top ten comedies of all time.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012



Do we make it difficult for others to give in secret? Do we critizies others because we do not see others giving?

Recently at Church they challenged people to give their jackets the ones they brought with or worn that day. I went down to my car and took out my jacket (it was warm enough for one not wear a jacket) and brought it back in and put it in the box. But when the person giving the message does this it seems to be forcing people to do it in front of others. It is not my intent to do it in front of others. To do it for others to see. ( I was glad to see the video showing people giving the jackets, I was not in it since I took extra time to get my jacket)

Allow people to give, but allow them to do so in a manor that is not public. If someone volunteers don’t make a video of it. Allow people to keep their giving a secret. It will help prevent people from being tempted to have it become a moment of public praise. And don’t criticize others if you don’t see them giving. Find ways to encourage others to give but don’t let be a public display.